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Two gas company servicemen, a senior training supervisor and a young trainee, were out checking meters in a suburban neighborhood. They parked their truck the end of the alley and worked their way to the other end.
At the last house a woman looking out her kitchen window watched the two men as they checked her gas meter.
Finishing the meter check, the senior supervisor challenged his younger coworker to a foot race down the alley back to the truck to prove that an older guy could outrun a younger one.
As they came running up to the truck, they realized the lady from that last house was huffing and puffing right behind them.
They stopped and asked her what was wrong.
Gasping for breath, she replied, "When I see two gas men running as hard as you two were, I figured I'd better run too!"
A blonde went to the appliance store sale and found a bargain. "I would like to buy this TV," she told the salesman, as he handed her a few of his business cards.
"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied.
She hurried home and dyed her hair, then came back and again told the salesman "I would like to buy this TV." "Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied.
"Darn, he recognized me," she thought. She went for a complete disguise this time, haircut and new color, new outfit, big sun glasses, then waited a few days before she again approached the salesman. "I would like to buy this TV."
"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied.
Frustrated, she exclaimed "How do you know I'm a blonde?"
"Because", he replied, "that's a microwave."
Two confirmed bachelors were sitting and talking. Their conversation drifted from politics to cooking. "I got a cookbook once," said the first, "but I could never do anything with it." "Too much fancy cooking in it, eh?" asked the second. "You said it. Every one of the recipes began the same way - 'Take a clean dish and...'"